called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
