im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
