dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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