Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We need to get me chipped asap
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
