I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
