Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
