fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
