Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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