if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
