Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
