That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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