I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
