if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
