I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
