That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
