I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
