I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
