she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
