I just made out with a guy for $7.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
