are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
