I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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