just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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