Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
