therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
