Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
