What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize