32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
