you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
