Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I checked into jail on foursquare
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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