I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
