I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
