Your dad touched me again.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
