He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just threw up on my dentist
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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