Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
