Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
