How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
