I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Holy sore nipples Batman
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
