When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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