3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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