yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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