last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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