I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
