You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
