And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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