My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
