seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
