I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
