i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
