just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
