so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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