That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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