I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize