You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
