How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
