dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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