I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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