it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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