No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
