i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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