i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
