can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Also, beer. Big fan.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
