Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
