Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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