After last night, I could never be a politician.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
