First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Randomize
