Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
