the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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