Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
