we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
