lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
