The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
