Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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