But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
