Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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