dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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