at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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