rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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