I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
one might say we're banned from that church
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
