Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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