He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I met the friendliest cop last night
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
