help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
me + whiskey = a bad person
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
