I forgot how hot balto sounded
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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