the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
love makes seman taste better
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
