we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
