i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
